THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

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THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby mornecameron on Wed Nov 09, 2011 4:36 pm

A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.

The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?”

Harry answered, “I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”

Ms Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

She agreed. Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: “What is 3 x 3?”
Harry: “9”.

Principal: “What is 6 x 6?”
Harry: “36”.

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know. The principal looks at Ms Brooks and tells her, “I think Harry can go to the third-grade.” Ms Brooks says to the principal, “Let me ask him some questions?” The principal and Harry both agree.

Ms. Brooks asks, “What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?
Harry, after a moment: “Legs.”

Ms. Brooks: “What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?”
The principal wondered, why does she ask such a question!
Harry replied: “Pockets.”

Ms. Brooks: “What does a dog do that a man steps into?”
Harry: “Pants”

Ms. Brooks: "What's starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut"

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry was taking charge.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
Harry: "Bubblegum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down and a dog do on three legs?”
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer.
Harry: "Shake hands."

Ms. Brooks: "Now I will ask some “Who am I” sort of questions, okay?"
Harry: "Yep."

Ms. Brooks: "You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do. Who am I?"
Harry: "You are a tent."

Ms. Brooks: "A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. Then best man always has me first."
The Principal was looking restless and bit tense.
Harry: "You are a Wedding Ring."

Ms. Brooks: "I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good."
Harry: "Nose."

Ms. Brooks: "I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver."
Harry: "Arrow."

Ms Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, “Put Harry in University, I got the last Few questions wrong myself!" :cheers:
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby pepa on Thu Nov 10, 2011 7:33 am

Sorry 3/10
its a copy,heard it before
u scored a extra point for effort
although it was a poor one.
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby yeo786 on Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:08 am

pepa wrote:Sorry 3/10
its a copy,heard it before
u scored a extra point for effort
although it was a poor one.


You think he'll ever exceed 6?
If you're in control, you're not going fast enough!
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby mornecameron on Thu Nov 10, 2011 11:39 am

yeo786 wrote:
pepa wrote:Sorry 3/10
its a copy,heard it before
u scored a extra point for effort
although it was a poor one.


You think he'll ever exceed 6?



I won't give up thats what
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby SWISS on Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:01 pm

mornecameron wrote:
yeo786 wrote:
pepa wrote:Sorry 3/10
its a copy,heard it before
u scored a extra point for effort
although it was a poor one.


You think he'll ever exceed 6?



I won't give up thats what

No matter how good they are...as a principle now Pepa will NEVER give you more than 3/10. :lol:
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby mornecameron on Thu Nov 10, 2011 12:36 pm

mornecameron wrote:
yeo786 wrote:
pepa wrote:Sorry 3/10
its a copy,heard it before
u scored a extra point for effort
although it was a poor one.


You think he'll ever exceed 6?



I won't give up thats what

No matter how good they are...as a principle now Pepa will NEVER give you more than 3/10. :lol:[/quote]

I don't think Pepa is that Harsh!
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby pepa on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:02 pm

i tell u wot - der is a loop hole.
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby mornecameron on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:18 pm

pepa wrote:i tell u wot - der is a loop hole.


I don't want to take the loop hole! would VW be making these awesome cars that we love so dearly if there was a loop hole? Would you buy your car knowing that they made it with the shortest time spent on it? No. If we were on a circuit race around town with a guided map of the course we have to drive, would you honestly take the short cut? NO YOU WOULDN'T cause you know your Supa dub will make it, its not just about getting in its about proving that you can! Something our rides can do so I want to do it too! :evil:
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby SWISS on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:22 pm

mornecameron wrote:
pepa wrote:i tell u wot - der is a loop hole.


I don't want to take the loop hole! would VW be making these awesome cars that we love so dearly if there was a loop hole? Would you buy your car knowing that they made it with the shortest time spent on it? No. If we were on a circuit race around town with a guided map of the course we have to drive, would you honestly take the short cut? NO YOU WOULDN'T cause you know your Supa dub will make it, its not just about getting in its about proving that you can! Something our rides can do so I want to do it too! :evil:

Anyone else think this guy is over dramatic?!?! :mrgreen:
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby pepa on Thu Nov 10, 2011 1:50 pm

forget it then
cudve gotten a backdoor ticket

ur loss.
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby PoPo on Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:14 pm

WTF??? :scratch:

everbody knows that only PEPA's jokes are more than a 7/10 even if it's k*k boring :mrgreen:

that's just how it is 8)
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby mornecameron on Thu Nov 10, 2011 2:19 pm

This is it...

: 1
Did you hear about the gay rabbit?
He found a hare up his a$$.

: 2
Did you hear about the gay truckers?
They exchanged loads.

: 3
Did you hear about the guy who died of Viagra overdose?
They couldn’t close his casket.

: 4
Did you hear about the two gay guys that had an argument in the bar?
They went outside to exchange blows

: 5
Did you hear about the two gay judges?
They tried each other.

: 6
Did you hear about the two homosexual judges?
They kept trying each other.

: 7
Did you hear that the new and politically correct name for “lesbian”.
It has been changed to “vagitarian”.

: 8
Did you hear they came out with a new lesbian shoe?
They’re called Dikes. They have an extra long tongue and only take one finger to get off!

: 9
Did you know 70% of the gay population were born that way?
The other 30% were sucked into it.

: 10
Did you know they just discovered a new use for sheep in New Zealand?
Wool!

: 11
Do you know what the square root of 69 is?
Ate something.

: 12
Have you heard about the new line of Tampax with bells and tinsel?
It’s for the Christmas period.

: 13
Hear about the new gay sitcom?
“Leave it, it’s Beaver.”

: 14
Hey, what’s sticky, white and falls from the sky?
The cumming of the Lord

: 15
How are a lawyer and a prostitute different?
The prostitute stops f***ing you after you’re dead.

: 16
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They are fun to ride but you don’t want your friends to find out.

: 17
How can you tell a head nurse?
She’s the one with the dirty knees!

: 18
How can you tell if a Western is homosexual?
All the good guys are hung.

: 19
How can you tell if you are in a gay amusement park?
They issue gerbils at the tunnel of love.

: 20
How can you tell if you eat p***y well?
You wake up in the morning with a face like a glazed doughnut and a beard like an unwashed paintbrush.

: 21
How can you tell if your girlfriend wants you?
When you put your hand down her pants and it feels like you’re feeding a horse.

: 22
How can you tell when an auto mechanic just had sex?
One of his fingers is clean.

: 23
How did the gay break his leg at the golf course?
He fell off the ball washer!

: 24
How do men sort out their laundry?
Filthy, and filthy but wearable.

: 25
How do you confuse a female archaeologist?
Give her a used tampon and ask her what period it’s from.

: 26
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
It’s not hard.

: 27
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an alter boy

: 28
How do you give a blind queer a thrill?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.

: 29
How do you know when a male porn star is at the gas station?
Right before the gas stops pumping he pulls out the nozzle and sprays it all over the car.

: 30
How do you know when your cat’s done cleaning himself?
He’s smoking a cigarette.

: 31
How do you know when your wife is really dead?
Your sex life is the same but your washing pile gets bigger.

: 32
How do you make five pounds of fat look good?
Give it a nipple.

: 33
How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
Call her and tell her.

: 34
How do you say 69 in Chinese?
Twocanchew (two can chew).

: 35
How do you teach a blond math?
Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

: 36
How do you tell if a chick’s too fat to f**k?
When you pull her pants down and her a$$ is still in them.

: 37
How does a guy know if he has a high sperm count?
If the girl has to chew, before she swallows.

: 38
How is a p***y like a grapefruit?
The best ones squirt when you eat them.

: 39
How is a woman like a road?
Both have manholes.

: 40
How is being at a singles bar different than being at the circus?
At the circus, the clowns don’t talk.

: 41
How many men does it take to open a beer bottle?
None It should be open when she brings it to you

: 42
How many newspapers can a woman hold between her legs?
One Post, two Globes, and many Times.

: 43
If your mother and father have a baby and its not your sister or your brother, who is it?
It’s you, you f***ing idiot!

: 44
Three words to ruin a man’s ego…
“Is it in?”

: 45
What did Adam say to Eve?
Stand back, I don’t know how big this thing gets!

: 46
What did one gay sperm say to the other gay sperm?
I can’t see a thing with all this sh$%t in here!

: 47
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
Why are you shaking she’s going to eat me.

: 48
What did the blind man say as he passed the fish market?
Good morning Girls

: 49
What did the boy vampire say to the girl vampire?
See you next period.

: 50
What did the guy say to his dick after he found that the girl he’s getting ready to f**k has genital warts?
“Hang on, boy! It’s gonna be a bumpy ride!”

: 51
What did the pedophile say when he got out of jail?
I feel like a kid again!

: 52
What did the woman say to her swimming instructor?
“Will I really drown if you take your finger out?”

: 53
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common?
Men always miss them.

: 54
What do a dildo and soy beans have in common?
They are both used as substitute meat.

: 55
What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?
They can both smell it, but can’t eat it.

: 56
What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a puppy have in common?
A wet nose.

: 57
What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?
The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

: 58
What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
Without the hole in the middle they aren’t good for sh$%t.

: 59
What do a Turtle and a Pedophile have in common?
They both want to get there before the ‘hair’ does.

: 60
What do you call a female clown?
A Clunt

: 61
What do you call a female police officer that shaves her pubic hair?
c**t Stubble.

: 62
What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?
Beef strokin’ off.

: 63
What do you call a hillbilly who owns sheep and goats.
Bisexual.

: 64
What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?A: Lickalotopuss.

: 65
What do you call a lesbian with fat fingers?
Well hung.

: 66
What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?
A tearjerker.

: 67
What do you call a nun with a sex change operation?
A tran-sister.

: 68
What do you call a woman with her tongue sticking out?
A lesbian with a hard-on.

: 69
What do you call an adolescent rabbit?
A pubic hair.

: 70
What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm?
Pimp.

: 71
What do you call an anorexic prostitute?
Lite & Easy

: 72
What do you call it when a 90 year old man masturbates successfully?
Miracle whip.

: 73
What do you call two lesbians with their period?
Finger painting.

: 74
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Slow down and use some lubricant.

: 75
What do you do with 365 used rubbers?
Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.

: 76
What do you get when you put 50 lesbians and 50 politicians in a room together?
100 people who don’t do dick.

: 77
What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes?
Goes-in-tight!

: 78
What does a bull do to stay warm on a bitterly cold day?
He goes into the barn and slips into a nice warm “Jersey”

: 79
What does a female snail say during sex?
Faster, faster, faster!

: 80
What does a woman’s a$$hole do when she is having an orgasm?
He is usually home with the kids!

: 81
What does an old woman have between her breasts that a young woman doesn’t?
A navel.

: 82
What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you’re screwed.

: 83
What does do women and milk cartons have in common?
You gotta open the flaps to get to the good stuff.

: 84
What is the smallest hotel in the world?
A p***y, cause you have to leave the bags outside.

: 85
What’s a necrophilia’s biggest complaint about sex?
They just kinda lay there.

: 86
What’s a virgin and a balloon have in common ?
All it takes is one prick and its all over.

: 87
What’s female Viagra?
Jewellery

: 88
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
Breasts don’t have eyes.

: 89
Why do only 10% of women go to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be hell.

: 90
Why do women prefer old gynecologists?
Their shaky hands!

: 91
Why does a penis have a hole in the end?
So men can be open minded.

: 92
Why does a squirrel swim on its back?
To keep its nuts dry.

: 93
Why does the bride always wear white?
Well aren’t all kitchen appliances that colour?

: 94
Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.

: 95
Why is a pap smear called a pap smear?
Because women wouldn’t do them if they were called c**t scrapes.

: 96
Why is air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

: 97
Why is being in the military like a bj?
The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel.

: 98
Why is it called a Wonder Bra?
When she takes it off, you wonder where her tits went.

: 99
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it’s getting interesting, they’re finished until next time.

: 100
You know why they say that eating oysters will improve a man’s sex life?
Because women know if he’ll eat one of those, he’ll eat anything!
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby yeo786 on Thu Nov 10, 2011 8:19 pm

[quote="mornecameron]
ADMIN: DID YOU HAVE TO QUOTE THIS?! :shock:
[/quote]

:shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby GooSe763 on Fri Nov 18, 2011 12:37 am

wtf is this, broke my scroll button jeesh
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Re: THIS IS FOR PEPA! LOL

Postby supey on Fri Nov 18, 2011 6:21 am

GooSe763 wrote:wtf is this, broke my scroll button jeesh

Agree !!!
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for VW engine codes

Ekta -> VW part numbers. http://87.118.230.251/ Use Google tranlate to getit to english
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